The New Year always brings resolutions, fresh ideas, new beginnings and a feeling that it's time for new changes.  This New Year, are you considering a new addition to your family?

Whether you've already begun to grow your family with one child and are considering additional children or you would like to start, there are a lot of things to consider when making this decision.  The decision to have a child, to care for another human being for a lifetime, will have a significant life long impact.

Are we ready?
First, you must consider the emotional impact of a baby both for yourself and your partner. Do you both want children? How will you structure the parenting partnership? What was your upbringing like? What techniques from your upbringing would you use?  What wouldn't you do? How will you compromise? Each partner should feel comfortable expressing their parenting philosophy.  Parenting requires flexibility and willingness to compromise; tools you should begin to use at this stage. In addition, having these discussions prior to pregnancy can ease your stress during pregnancy and make it more enjoyable.

 

You will also need to be prepared for the myriad of feelings you may have after becoming pregnant.  In addition to elation or pride, you may also feel shock, worry, fear or even guilt. Taking advantage of pregnancy and prenatal classes to help you prepare may help ease some of these feelings. Most importantly, keep the communication lines between you and your partner open at all times.   

How will my first child feel?
If you are considering adding to your family, tap into the feelings of your first child or children. Children are naturally curious about babies and you can ease their anxiety about a new baby by involving them as must as possible in the pregnancy.  Ask them to help pick the new baby's name or decorate the nursery.  "Try to plan, ahead of time, for one-on-one time with each parent for your child after the baby is born." Tobey Huntley, parenting educator, at the Elizabeth Blackwell Center recommends.

 

While you are considering the impact of the relationship with your first child, also consider the relationship between you and your partner. Evaluate your commitment to each other and plan ways to maintain your relationship once the baby is born.  Again, open communication lines are critical.  "Constantly check-in with your partner after the baby is born to re-evaluate your relationship and find out what is working and what changes you may need to make." Tobey advises.  

Is there more?
There will be hundreds of additional choices to be made and things to consider.  This is just the starting point. You will also need to consider the financial impact of a baby, career considerations, your physical well-being and your partners, choosing a doctor, and a host of other things. Couples counseling and preparation courses are available and can assist you with all the details. Having a baby is a life-changing decision and can feel overwhelming.  "Most of all," says Tobey, "you shouldn't lose sight of the joy of having a baby."  Being prepared and making a plan will help you, and your partner, make the decision that's right for this New Year.

 

Preconception planning: Take care now for a healthy baby later
Prepregnancy Checklist for Couples Planning a New Baby